The Dark Tower

I had the pleasure (and agony) this week of reading C. S. Lewis' unfinished novel The Dark Tower, which is extremely fascinating, not least of all because it was originally intended as a sequel to Out of the Silent Planet. It also happens to be about that tried and true movie seller: time travel. Time travel, the novel begins, is not possible in the body, but that does not mean there are not other ways of accomplishing it. As the novel unfolds, Lewis' wit and academia are unleashed and right as the story reaches its most climactic moment (90 some pages into it) it stops. Mid-sentence. Lewis never finished the novel, but it is still a very good and interesting read. Props to Lewis.

The Dark Tower was published by Walter Hooper along with several short stories and another unfinished novel (though shorter in length and less of a disappointment because it was less developed). All are very interesting and quite gripping. Most are science fiction and all have to do with mental or psychological processes of some sort, except for the final partial novel, which is wonderful to read because of the plot twist at the end of the first chapter, a method also utilised in one of the short stories about traveling to the moon.

Reading Lewis' stories and partial novels really makes me want to write. But what do I want to write? Do I want to write my 175 page novel that is only half finished? Nooo... I want to write short stories for which I have absolutely no ideas. I'm usually filled to the brim with ideas and now that I feel competent to write, they have all fled me. Where does this leave me? With the drudgery of the novel, I suppose. Well, since my youtube video is taking so long to upload, I might as well work on the novel in the meantime.

The video is titled 'The PAK Baigent: Maiden Voyage'.

An Emotional Process

Since John Breen is likely the only one to see this, I shan't worry about posting hastily and then revising later. Here it is, post haste:

I find I am angry at my brother. This is quite possibly the first time I have been solidly and definitely angry with him, at least in my memory. I am so angry that I cannot handle him being out with his friends and spending time with his girlfriend rather than with me. I 'have it out' with him and tell him how I feel. That apparently isn't enough and we do the same the next day after I've sought counsel from a friend. Two weeks later I find I am still left with repressed emotions and a deep feeling of angst. What do I do with this? I cannot chop wood, Joanna, for I have not the tools nor the skill. I have a good talk with my sister - no, I should not hate my brother, because he is being like Jesus - spending time with those who need him, who need someone to be their friend. He is doing the right thing. But I still feel a latent anger and bitterness. This morning Z makes it all clear. Anger is not the primary emotion. The primary emotion is, in fact, pain. I experience pain and disappointment because I had high expectations of the time we would be able to spend together because of previous promises made by my brother. But since we do not like to stay in pain, Z says, we move on to anger. And, what's more, we become demanding. Suddenly the tables have shifted and my priorities are revealed. I think it is all about me and that my brother should spend time with me and fulfill my needs and deepest longings for significance and security. That is what transforms my pain into anger. Otherwise, I would feel pain, and justly feel it, and tell my brother and seek solace in Christ. How does one seek solace in Christ? Is prayer the only means? Prayer and contemplation, perhaps? I am not entirely sure. What do you think?

Everybody's doing it

Jane had this on her xanga because Holly had this on her facebook, so it is appearing on my blog.

Rules :
Turn on Google & look for the following expressions. Be mature & use your real name. Use the first thing that appears & makes sense

Q. Put "[your name] needs" on Google
A. Princess Alexandra needs to steal Mary's stylist.

Q. Put "[your name] looks like" on Google
A. A Venn diagram of my love for Alexandra looks like this:

Q. Put "[your name] says" on Google"
A. Derek Alexandra says our sharing ratio will be 50:50 should incase if I am interested Nigerian Scam Scavenger Hunt.

Q. Put "[your name] wants" on Google
A. Alexandra wants the Camera!

Q. Put "[your name] does" on Google
A. Name: Alexandra Does Not Approve ...

Q. Put "[your name] hates" on Google
A. Clothes Alexandra Hates: Modo (mid style), Russian (low style);

Q. Put "[your name] asks" on Google
A. ALEXANDRA ASKS LOYALTY FOR SON And, "from the Depth of Her Broken Heart," Begs Nation's Prayers.

Q. Put "[your name] becomes" on Google
A. Big Brother Housemate Amy Alexandra becomes the ninth housemate to be...

Q. Put "[your name] likes" on Google
A. Alexandra likes to pose in front of a nice chess set ...

Q. Put "[your name] eats" on Google
A. Alexandra Eats with Factory Girls and Children in the East End of London.

Q. Put "[your name] wears" on Google
A. "Queen Alexandra wears a Cartier necklace in 1910. She was famous for wearing high chokers in the style shown and for wearing a daring amount of make-up, ...

Q. Put "[your name] was arrested for" on Google
A. Alexandra was arrested for kicking a girl in a drunken night out in Croydon...

The GRE and the Angst of a Philosopher

"You'll do better on the GRE by putting aside your feelings about real education and surrendering yourself to the strange logic of the standardized test."

Cracking the GRE, 21.

On a completely unrelated note, as a philosopher I often feel angst. The question is: how to express it without freaking anybody out and yet feeling a sense of release or satisfaction afterward?