Presocratics

First we shall begin with a tribute to Thomas Aquinas, the composer of the first limerick (according to metre), so saith Wikipedia. Anyway, it's in Latin.

Sit vitiorum meorum evacuatio
Concupiscentae et libidinis exterminatio,
Caritatis et patientiae,
Humilitatis et obedientiae,
Omniumque virtutum augmentatio.


Oh, look, it's all ancient looking, too. I mean, really, who uses Courier nowadays? And how do you figure out what font you were using before you change it? I obviously wasn't using Times New Roman before.

Anyway, now the Pre-Socratic Limericks.

Prelude

A couple of men from Miletus
Said ‘why does everyone hate us?
We just sought to find
The substance that binds
And not let our minds take hiatus’

Triduum

The first Anatolian was Thales
Who rejected all notion of Hades
Instead to explain
All things he took rain
As the substance beneath (even daisies)

Anaximander, he was a Greek man
Who thought Thales was terribly bland
'Water? No, no.
To the boundless we'll go!'
Was the shout that he gave as he ran

Anaximenes did not really care
For his compatriots and their love of flare
Instead he preferred
That the base of a turd
Be the whimsical substance called air.


Eleatics

Parmenides came from Elea
Not believing in what he could see-a
He disbelieved change
Thought Heraclitus strange
Trusting reason to explain diahrrea


Other options?

A Sicilian was the first Captain Planet
Thinking fire, water, air, and granite
Were the four that combined
In love. So refined
Was Empedocles he never would can it

A philosopher from Athens was banished
For the whole was seemingly vanished
And seen in a part.
He was terribly smart,
Anaxagoras who ended up famished